Does the PBL think anyone took its lockout draft seriously?

I mean, really. Really? REALLY?

I get a lot of junk spam mail in my work email, but sometimes some emails slip through. 

Unfortunately for the Premier Basketball League - the one the Frost Heaves used to belong to - there was one email from them that I can't stop giggling about. It should have been marked spam and immediately deleted, because there's no possible way it's real.

First of all, their new motto appears to be: PBL: A Smashing Success. Really? A smashing success where all the teams left except the one owned by the owners of the league? That equals success? A "smashing" success? Am I missing something? Apparently they've signed on a few more teams recently, so we'll see what happens come the winter.

The subject of the email was: "PBL's Locked-Out Players' Draft a Success; Contracts to be Sent." Does this mean what I fear they think it means?

Oh yes. 

Apparently the PBL took to its apparent huge crowd of fans - both here in the U.S. and all over the world - to vote online for which NBA players - locked out of their season while the suits talk and talk and talk - should play for which PBL teams this winter (they didn't ask me, yet I get emails from them? Whatever). And it gets better. 

From the release:

"The draft gave fans, via the internet, the ability to pick players from the NBA roster, and place them onto the various PBL teams. The Premier Basketball League will now contact the agents of these players with contractual offers to play in the upcoming season.  In addition, these players will have the opportunity to play on an all-star lockout team that will travel across the country in November or December of this year. The all-star lockout team will play in cities where an NBA team does not exist but has plenty of basketball fans."

Right.

So who are these lucky 10 NBA players who will be offered a PBL contract? Only 10 of the best in the league, who I am sure have nothing better to do, no more attractive offers than to play for a league that was a one-team league a few short months ago.

From the release:

"The fans voted and the 10 players selected to play for PBL Teams are:

1. Kobe Bryant – Selected to the Rochester RazorSharks
2. Dwayne Wade – Selected to the Chicago Muscle
3. LeBron James – Selected to the Dayton Air Strikers
4. Derrick Rose – Selected to the Chicago Muscle
5. Kevin Durant – Selected to Team Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
6. Dwight Howard – Selected to Dayton Air Strikers
7. Dirk Nowitzki – Selected to Team Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
8. Carmelo Anthony – Selected to the Rochester RazorSharks
9. Blake Griffin – Selected to the Chicago Muscle
10. Amar’e Stoudemire – selected to the Rochester RazorSharks"

Please explain this to me. First of all, I totally love how LeBron was NOT #1. Second, what? Who thought this unfathomable waste of time was a good idea? And one that would actually work? Are ya kidding? People got paid to put this thing together? And people VOTED? WHO? I want the time you have to devote to this.

I told my editor about this email today, and even he asked if it was a joke. Problem is, it's not. It's a Reuters release - it's legit. Legit AND stupid. 

I'm still shaking my head and giggling, thanking our collective lucky stars the Vermont Frost Heaves aren't mixed up in this silliness. I'd rather have no team than have any connection to this weirdness.

-Anna Grearson