TIN IRONIES
Vermont being a small state, our license plates do not bear elongated combinations of numbers and letters, or at least not yet. As of 2012, we are into a system under which new plates are issued with three letters then three numbers, going alphabetically. If you see a license starting with A, look and see what make and model the car is, because that one has lasted quite a while and might be a reliable brand. B and C are becoming uncommon, D plates aren’t unusual, and E and F are now prevalent.
The strings of three letters have afforded a degree of ongoing comedy. Mom drives a DAD. The computer expert who would never open an email with a .exe attachment, because that would activate a program which might well be malicious, has to open an EXE every day to drive to work. Fearless athletic guys have EEKs or advertise EPTs (early pregnancy test). There was even one C license with which state officials unwittingly saddled someone with a colorful porn term (beyond that, I’m not giving any further details).
Recently there’s been a huge change in my life. I’m no longer driving Rudolph the Red-Nosed Metro, a 1994 Geo Metro that started out as The Tiger Beetle because it was green but acquired its second name when someone backed into the hood and the used hood that was available to make it inspectable was red. Tiny but maneuverable enough to have dodged four times when another car was coming at me in my lane, and great for mileage, it is now doing duty helping an Iraq war veteran get to classes at Castleton State College.
Instead, I’m charging around in a 2004 Subaru Legacy Wagon, which until it merits some other name will go by The Blubaru because it’s dark blue. The dealer did all the paperwork for me to get new plates, which turned out to have the letters FMC.
The combination didn’t immediately bring anything to mind, but I figured there had to be an FMC somewhere in the world, so I went looking on the Internet. Here is what I’ve found so far:
--The Federal Maritime Commission.
--The Free Methodist Church.
--The Ford Motor Company.
--The Fox Movie Channel.
-- FMC Corporation, ticker symbol FMC, formerly Food Machinery Corporation and Food Machinery and Chemical Corporation.
-- FMC Technologies, an American machinery and oil services technology company, formerly part of FMC Corporation (see above).
-- FMC Lithium, still part of FMC Corporation.
-- Finlayson Media Communications, a division of Springer Science & Business Media.
--The three-letter code for Five Mile Airport in Alaska.
--Federal Medical Centers in Fort Worth, Texas; Rochester, Minnesota; and Ayer, Massachusetts.
--In Australia, the Federal Magistrates Court; the Flinders Medical Centre in Adelaide; and the Family Movie Channel.
--In Canada, the Force Mobile Command, the predecessor to the Canadian Forces Land Force Command; and the law firm of Fraser Milner Casgrain, LLP; and the Foothills Medical Centre in Calgary.
--In Egypt’s navy, Fast Missile Craft.
--In Germany, Fresenius Medical Care.
--In India, the Forward Markets Commission.
--In Japan, the Fleet Mail Center in Yokohama.
--In Mexico, the Federacion Mexicana de Ciclismo.
--In Monaco, the Fédération Monégasque de Cyclisme.
--In the United Kingdom, Full Metal Challenge, a televised 2002 Vehicle Competition.
--In aircraft navigation, Flight Management Computer.
--In telecommunications, Fixed Mobile Convergence.
--In electrical work, Flexible Metal Conduit.
--In ammunition, Full Metal Case, another name for the full metal jacket bullet.
And finally, the one that I’d prefer to think my license plate indicates: Fully Mission Capable. Here’s hoping.
--30—