Black Mass
(the man’s voice)
(the woman’s voice)
Twelve hours
Twelve hours to go.
to go. The longest night of his life.
The longest night of her life, but after it’s over
Afterwards he won’t feel anything, he thinks,
all will be forgotten, she thinks:
as if it had never been.
getting an enema and being shaved while in labor,
This time it’s for real, they’re shaving him.
the misery of being told
As a murdering rapist on Death Row
as a patient in the Maternity Ward
he can choose his final meal
she is not allowed to eat
just when he wants it the least.
just when she needs her strength the most--
They want him to drink plenty of fluids--
not even given water!
to help his body conduct electricity.
They’ve put her on an electronic monitor,
He paces, but the ache won’t go away.
she isn’t supposed to move around; when it hurts
The doctor gives him a shot, “sort of a cocktail,”
the nurse gives her an injection, “a little something,”
to help him “take it easy.”
just to “take the edge off.”
It doesn’t work.
Nothing helps. The clock turns so slowly,
As steadily as the earth, the clock’s hands turn.
endlessly. How could anyone ever know
How could he have known
how lonely it can be inside
how much pain can fit inside
one small private room
one bare concrete cell.
with nothing on the walls.
He looks at his pinups.
If only he could be here! 13
The minister comes
The nurse comes to take her temperature
to ask him how he feels.
and check her blood pressure.
He gives him a message
She gives her a message to give the father:
to take to his mother: “Don’t worry.”
“I’m all right,” it says.
“I love you.”
“I love you.” If only someone were with her!
If only they would leave him alone!
It keeps getting worse.
Take his own life? Bad as it is,
What about the baby?
it’s living.
If only she could stay with her breathing!
Every breath is precious.
They tell her the opening is getting wider.
His throat tightens.
If only she could keep from crying!
He feels like crying, but he won’t.
But she can’t. And now a moment comes
And now the moment comes.
when a look of disbelief crosses her face,
He pulls himself together
a look of desperation and pleading
so people will remember his courage.
that no one will forget who has ever seen it.
They’d carry him anyway,
They wouldn’t let her walk if she wanted to.
so he says he’ll walk--
They fasten her to a gurney--
“The Long Walk.”
“Just a short ride”--but other women in labor
The other condemned prisoners
are holding onto the rails
and pounding and banging and shouting
and moaning and cursing and shrieking. At last
At last they come to the execution chamber.
they reach the delivery room--all that cold metal!
It’s so terribly clean--but who are all these people? 14
And why all these people?
Why do they have to do it this way?
Why do they have to do it this way?
he wants to ask--
she wants to know--
but what would be the use?
there’s no time. They strap her legs to the stirrups
They buckle his legs to the electric chair.
The hands, too?
The wrists, too.
“It’s hospital policy.”
An electrode taped to one leg,
And intravenous needle taped to one arm,
and he’s ready.
and she’s ready. They tell her to push,
He can’t move a muscle when the cap goes over his head
someone puts a mask over her face while someone cuts her.
and someone throws a switch.
A burning sensation
Straining in convulsions
as if she were splitting open and
all at once he can see his whole life
for a moment she can remember her own birth.
then craps himself.
The doctor comes and checks the head.
The doctor comes and checks the heart.
Another push,
Another surge,
and it’s almost out, the clenching hands turn pink,
the hands clench and turn blue,
the lungs fill with fire,
the body begins to smoke,
and it leaves the mother,
and he enters the tunnel,
screaming from the light,
the blinding white light--
straining in convulsions--
dead.
alive.
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